by: Dr. Dino Zuccarini, C.Psych. & Dr. Lila Hakim, C.Psych.
"When communication breaks down, unprocessed negative emotions accumulate."
Emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy can be considered
essential components of adult attachment bonds. Our capacity to engage in an
intimate manner contributes to our ability to form and maintain mutually
satisfying, long-term relationships. Emotional intimacy allows partners to feel
seen, heard, and understood. Emotional closeness is core to developing
satisfying couple physical and sexual intimacy.
When partners feel emotionally close, physical touch and
sexual contact seem less threatening and more rewarding. A solid emotional
connection allows individuals to be present and engage moment-by-moment in
encounters involving intimate physical and sexual contact. Within this context,
more intimate, arousing, pleasurable, and erotic encounters are then possible.
On the other hand, when partners lack emotional closeness, they feel distanced
or engage in circular, escalating conflicts as they strive to be understood and
have their needs met by the other. Negative feelings and emotions begin to
accumulate when partners are unable to intimately engage.
In some cases, a partner may fear intimacy, or lack the
skills to engage in an intimate manner about their feelings, needs or desires,
or lack knowledge about how to respond to the other’s feelings. When
communication breaks down, unprocessed negative emotions accumulate. Unable to
process their feelings and needs, partners engage in rigid, negative patterns
with one another. They begin to distance from each other, experience separation
fears, and engage in high-conflict exchanges in their effort to protect
themselves from the growing sense of disconnection in the relationship.
CFIR psychologists and clinicians help individuals and
couple partners learn how to identify, express, and assert their selves in
their relationships to others. We also support individuals and partners on how
to exit from difficult relationship patterns and become more accessible and
responsive to one another. Healthy relationship and sexual functioning
are important in maintaining a good sense of ourselves. Both our physical and mental
well-being is improved when we have the ability to create and sustain intimate
relationships with others both outside and inside the bedroom. In fact,
research affirms that many individuals struggle in their efforts to maintain
relationship and sexual satisfaction throughout their lives, and that
dissatisfaction in these areas of life can have an impact on our mental and
physical health.
Read more about our Relationship & Sex Therapy Treatment
Service.
