ReSolution ReVolution: Tips for Achieving Your Goals in 2018

By: Kamala Pilgrim, Ph.D., C. Psych (Interim Autonomous Practice)

It’s the time of year again when millions of us are thinking about all the goals we want to achieve. We typically start off excited to follow through with our well-intentioned resolutions. We say to ourselves with conviction, “This year I’m making some changes!” Our lives seem fresh and rife with opportunity – but by about January 10th we run out of steam, begin avoiding, or just give up on our goals. Psychologists note that one of the reasons resolutions tend to dissolve rapidly is because it is difficult to withstand the discomforts that are part and parcel of making changes. The ability to tolerate and adapt to challenges with a sense of awareness, openness, and focus, and taking effective actions that are guided by what we truly value, is key to creating and maintaining the life you want (Harris, 2008). Following are seven strategies to help you begin to move in the direction of your dreams:

1. Get crystal clear on your values

Resolutions are often framed as goals and not based on our core values. The difference is a value is a path on which we would like to continue moving over time while a goal is an outcome that we can reach…or not (Harris, 2008). The desire to be energetic is an example of a value, whereas wanting to join a gym is a goal. It is more effective for goals to follow our values, not the other way around. When our values are foremost, our lives develop greater meaning as our decisions are rooted in what we really care about. We also are more willing to make an effort if we understand how we believe attaining our objective will enhance our life.

To get started on clarifying your values, ask yourself the following:

• What matters most to you in life?
• How do you wish to feel each day?
• How do you want to interact with yourself and others?

2.  Adopt S.M.A.R.T goals

Next, consider resolutions that reflect these core values.

E.g., If you want to feel more enthusiastic what actions can you take to get there?

Break these down into smaller steps based on behaviours you can do that are:

Specific

Measurable

Achievable

Results-based and

Time-bound

Develop short-term (can be done in the next few days and weeks), medium-range (can be done in a month or two), and long-term (can be done in the following six months) objectives that are in line with these S.M.A.R.T criteria.

3. Visualize

Regularly reflecting on your values is critical to making them paramount to your life. It is important to remember what matters most to you and to allow those factors to seep into your psyche. Spend a few minutes every day, picturing in vivid detail how you will feel, act, and behave toward yourself and others when you are making choices in accordance with your values. Engage all five of your senses in this process whenever possible.

4. Know your pitfalls and trick your future self

Track your efforts to meet goals. Then reflect on times when you tend to fold in the face of temptation, throw in the towel, or procrastinate. Use this knowledge to set your future self up for success.

E.g., If you notice you never get out to the gym once you’ve arrived home from work, pack your workout bag the night before and go right after you leave the office.

5. Welcome hiccups

Develop and practice a self-compassionate attitude toward setbacks which will inevitably come. Instead of berating yourself, speak to yourself at these times the way you would to someone you love.

6. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is a state of awareness that involves paying full attention, on purpose, to everything happening in the present moment, without judgment (Kabat-Zinn, 2012). Since we spend so much of our time either worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, we miss out on the now, which is the only place where our power to make changes lies. Though a by-product of this practice is that the things we observe such as, distressing thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations will decrease in intensity, it is not the purpose. The aim is to make space for these experiences without resisting or attempting to escape them and to return to your core values to guide your actions. Doing this will both sharpen areas of the brain that govern self-control and build tolerance of uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and sensations. You can begin to develop this skill by practicing the following meditation every day:

“Sit in a chair or crossed-legged on a pillow. Take five, deep, smooth breaths in and out. On the end of your fifth exhalation, allow your breath to flow in naturally without any attempt to control it. As you breathe in mentally say the words, “inhale”, as you breathe out, mentally say, “exhale”. When the mind shifts to thoughts, practice noticing them as if they are clouds passing through the sky, and come back to your meditation. When an emotion arises, bring awareness to where you feel it in your body and breathe into and around the area(s) providing it with as much space as possible. Return to your meditation.”

Start with two minutes of meditation practice and work your way up to fifteen to twenty minutes.

As you pursue your values and related goals, unhelpful thoughts and emotions (I.e., those that would take you away from your values if you give them credence) will emerge. Use a similar strategy of gently acknowledging them and coming back to focusing your attention on the choices that align you with your most cherished values in the present moment.

7. Make goal engagement rewarding

If we are constantly in self-control mode, your body and brain will surely rebel. As much as possible, pair your goals with something pleasurable:

E.g., Write in your favourite café, light scented candles while doing housework, exercise while listening to music you enjoy.

Just make sure that whatever your chosen accompaniment, it is guided by your core values.

If you put these techniques into practice on a consistent basis, you can make some gains in achieving your goals.

CFIR psychologists are also always available to offer you support in defining and sticking to your objectives this new year 2018!

For more information please see the following sources: 

• Harris, R. (2008). The Happiness Trap: How to stop struggling and start living. Boston, MA: Trumpeter.

• Kabat-Zinn, J. (2012). Mindfulness for Beginners: Reclaiming the present moment – and your life. Boulder, CO: Sounds True.

• McGonigal, K. (2012). The willpower instinct: How self-control works, why it matters, and what you can do to get more of it. New York, NY: Avery.

The Impact of Traumatic Events in Our Life: Healing in the Aftermath

by: Darcy Minick, Masters Candidate and Dr. Dino Zuccarini, C.Psych.

Are you struggling with the after-effects of past traumatic experiences in your present day? Many of us will experience at least one traumatic incident in our lifetime --- an unpredictable, out of the ordinary experience or incident that yields overwhelming helplessness, fear, powerlessness or intense isolation from others. The emotional residue of these traumatic incidents can wreak havoc inside of us, and interfere with our capacity to be intimately engaged in our important relationships. Traumatic incidents can shatter our sense of self and identity and our sense of the world around us.

In this post, we will provide you with some basic facts about trauma, and how these difficult life experiences may be affecting your life in the present day.

The good news though is that trauma can be healed. As Peter Levin has put it: “Trauma is a fact of life. It does not have to be a life sentence ... And there are so many things that we can do in prevention and healing."

What is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

In the fields of medicine, psychiatry, clinical and counseling psychology, two different diagnostic categories have been used to understand trauma:

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) develops after an overwhelming life experience, such as accidents, war, abductions, sexual assault and violence, or natural disasters such as floods or earthquakes. These types of traumatic incidents involve us experiencing either actual physical harm or the threat of physical harm to ourselves.

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (Complex PTSD) results from stressors that may have occurred repeatedly and chronically in our lives. Sexual or physical abuse, often from early in life, over the course of childhood and in the context of the family, domestic abuse or military deployments into dangerous locales can all be causes of Complex PTSD. 

As a result of these experiences, our bodies and minds employ their natural defense systems --- our fight, flight, freeze responses --- to offset the threat. It is important for us to be able to eventually relinquish this natural defense system and return to normal levels of emotional and physiological arousal in our bodies --- that allows us to feel safe in the world again. Our ability to do so, however, can be impaired as a result of momentary or chronic traumatic experiences. Traumatic experiences can create a basic rupture, or loss of connection --- to our self, our family, and the world around us. Instead, we can be left with a sense of danger, insecurity, and disconnection in our lives. Restoring a sense of safety and security, learning how to make sense of the traumatic experience that we’ve endured, and re-connecting to our self and others again in the aftermath of this incident is critical to the healing process. Without such healing, many physical and psychological symptoms can emerge in our lives.

Common Symptoms of Trauma

Physical reactions can include the following:

• Bodily aches and pains
• Sudden sweating and/or heart palpitations
• Changes in sleep patterns, appetite, interest in sex
• Easily startled by noises or unexpected touch
• Tensions that some people will soothe with the use of alcohol or drugs and/or overeating

Emotional reactions can include the following:

• Flashbacks --- feeling like the trauma is happening now
• Feelings of guilt and shame
• Fear and/or anxiety, or depression
• Attempts to avoid anything associated with trauma
• Hyper-alertness or hyper-vigilance
• Feelings of detachment, or dissociation
• Inability to trust self or other
• Upsetting memories of the trauma, or lost memories
• Suicidal thoughts

How Can an Unresolved Trauma be Healed?

"When treated thoroughly, healing can lead not only to symptom reduction, but long-term transformation.” Peter Levine.

People are usually surprised when they begin to understand that some of the psychological and physical symptoms they have experienced are caused by previous traumatic experiences. Many people will get through this period with the help of family and friends, and the support of a therapist.

Here are some tips on how to cope, or diminish emotional and physical distress associated with trauma-related symptoms:

1. Mobilize a support system --- reaching out and connecting with others
2. Commit to an exercise routine --- energetic exercise like jogging, aerobics, bicycling, walking --- can help modulate our natural defence system.
3. Explore exercises and strategies to promote relaxation and diminish the impact of traumatic stress, including - breathing, relaxation, or exercise like yoga, stretching, massage hot baths prayer and/or meditation, listening to relaxing guided imagery, listening to music and viewing art or progressive deep muscle relaxation.
4. Try to find humour and the brighter, lighter sides of life -- doing so can counter the negative effects of traumatic stress;
5. Maintain a balanced diet and sleep cycle as much as possible, which includes not over-using stimulants like caffeine, sugar, or nicotine --- increasing arousal can create negative effects for individuals whose natural defence systems are in overdrive as a result of traumatic stress.

Psychotherapy is an essential component of your healing process. Research affirms that therapy can help you to process the intense emotions associated with traumatic incidents and diminish trauma-related symptoms.

CFIR's Trauma Psychology & PTSD Service offers individuals and couples assessment and treatment of different types of traumatic stress. A comprehensive psychological assessment is conducted to understand the psychological impact of trauma on an individual’s self-development and personality, his or her present-day distressing cognitions, emotions and behaviours, and relationship functioning.

We employ a phase-specific treatment model that integrates trauma-focused, cognitive-behavioural, psychodynamic, ego-state, mindfulness-based, and experiential strategies to address the debilitating symptoms associated with traumatic stress. Our phase-specific and compassion-focused approach allows us to develop customized treatment options that meet the unique needs of every individual or couple.


Read more about our Trauma Psychology & PTSD Treatment Service.